Thank You Nini!

Nini, days without you are lonelier than ever
Not a single day passes by
Without your thought crossing my mind
Oh how am i to live without you
With each passing day I grow
Desperate than ever!

Had not I met you on that chilly day
Never would have I known the meaning...
Of what feeling truly for someone is like
Never would have I known the meaning...
Of being with the one you love is like
Never have I ever felt so secured in life
Oh Nini, life without you would be something...
Something which I'd never dare imagine

Never ever let go of me
For I see no future ahead of me
Without you! Please keep me close...
Very close for I miss the warmth of your arms
And the smell of your skin
With you being around...
There is nothing that I fear of

So complete I feel when I am with you
That if I am to die today... No regrets have I
For you gave the world to me
With all the love and care you showered on me
Oh Nini! You made my life so complete
That there is nothing more I would ever ask
All I want to say is...
Thank You for making me feel loved and wanted!

Justa Thought!!

Mindful of the things that we do... we often tend to fail to realize what is right and what is wrong... until it is too late to sort things out and set it right... Yet we desperately wish if there was a time machine to turn back time to undone the things that we did. We are often filled with remorse and regret yet we find ourselves at a loss not knowing what to do...

Oh dear me!

Oh dear me!
‘M back to square one again!
The sleepless nights haunting me…
With a thought that worries me,
Lost I am wondering the reason
All I know is Insomnia getting over me.

Is it a summer fling?
Or a forthcoming autumn romance
None it could be
But a simple thought, it is…
Yet a fascinating one
That charms and mesmerizes me
Making me feel on Cloud 9!

Bewildered I am

Bewildered I amTo snivel
Or to be cheerful!
Baffled I am To be alive...
Or to be existing
Befuddled I am
With the belief of the past
Thinking of the days long-gone
Flabbergasted I am
Seeing the manner of life
Seeing the hardnosed humankind!
Still perplexed I am
Whether to gush with the surge
Or whirl against the tide...
Not much of a writer I am
Yet, in catch-22 I am...
Whether I should persevere
Or give up!
Confusion still reigns
Forfeiting my poise
Flaking me from realism!
Just a wish…
Materializing is unfeasible
That I am sure of
But I do wish
And will continue…
Till I breathe my last
Perplexity reigns!

A Wish

Never knew what love is
Till I met you...
Never knew what missing someone is
Till I missed you...
Never knew what it was
To be loved
Never knew what it meant to be cared for
Until you cared for me...
Life is so amiss without you
oh! how I wish you were around
How I wish to have someone
To whom my existence matter
Life is so full of shit...
I wish I never grew up
I wish I was a child
Protected by a possessive mother
Against this loathsome world!

The Irksome Headache

Like a hammer
On my head it striked
To the summit, it slammer

First there was a clang
Followed by a thud
And then a total black out!

I stood up to withstand it
Struggled to keep up the fight
Determined I am to retaliate

Suddenly someone called out
Saying,”Give up Lady, Give in!”
Yet I struggled not to surrender

Taken over I am by force
It left me feeling dizzy
Shaking me a little.

Making me feel good for nothing
Annoying me, frustrating me
Meddling into my business

Against my will, against my desire
Compelled I am to succumb
To the irksome headache!

Dear Life!

Dear life was lost
The city was in chaos
Harmony was eradicated
Hue and cries annihilated
Many an invocation sent
Many a proposition sent
Mothers and sisters revolted
Fathers and Brothers protested
But, efforts were wasted!
Holding on to life is a malady
Walking past life is an agony
Caught we are in the middle
With no choice but tremble
Standing with the mob
Hoping against hope
Without an idea
Seeking for Arcadia
Longing for Utopia!
Another life was lost
The city was in chaos
Lifeless and irksome it is
Yet Mundane and worldly it is
Usurped by ambiguity nobody cares,
Yet, everybody swears
Pathetic is the situation
Baffled we are of the condition
Useless is the conviction!

An Invaluable Lesson!

Words lay scattered here and there, but why is it difficult to put them together. Umpteen number of thoughts come and go, but pouring them out into meaningful sentences seems impossible. Looking beyond the impossible, waiting for the impossible to be possible, considering life to be just a series of events, this is all what I sought for. Am I expecting too much. With every wistful thought, comes along a ray of hope. But why is it difficult to cling on to the hopes.

Okay I am a pessimist and probably that’s why wistfulness takes the better of me. But am I born with pessimism? Probably no! Yet instilling optimistic thoughts in myself seems to be an unbeatable task.

Is it a sin to live life in a virtual world? Am I being foolish in seeking comfort from virtual friends? Are those people online simply bots with no heart and soul?

Probably there is no room for such things here. Seeking for a reliable companion here to help me unload the burden on my shoulder seems like I am displaying my dumbness. Seeking virtual friend’s shoulder to rely on might sound like I have no one around me to rely on. Well to a certain extent u may be right but at times it is easier to disclose something to a known yet unknown virtual friend about certain things which u find it hard to disclose it to your near and dear ones. hmm… well this is just a series of thoughts that has been troubling me since the last couple of days.. an invaluable lesson I learned is if u can’t keep a secret then don’t expect others to keep.. how well said!!

Anti-social! Am I?

Anti-social! Am I?
Yes I am,
If
Being Aloof,
Desiring my own space,
Avoiding impulsiveness,
Is considered
Anti-Social!
I
Take Pride
Proclaiming myself
Anti-Social
For I cannot accept
Intruders
Intruding my niche.
It’s my life,
My time,
Headstrong I am
It is just me
The Anti-Social..
Also,
I do not
And cannot entertain
Those endorsing
Deceitfulness and
Those lacking
Remorse.
Nor,
Do I have time
To dispense
On callousness
So,
Why do you care?

On Sex!

Is it just physical or purely spiritual,
A culmination of two souls
Imbibed with love, trust,
Faith and feelings?
Or is it just a craving
Influencing and bribing young minds
Corrupting them?
Easy to spell is the 3-lettered word
Misinterpreted and misused by many
Underestimated by thousands...
Diminishing the sanctity
Of the union of the souls
On sex, I speak of
A taboo I am considered of
For conditioned are our minds
Moulded are our thoughts
Ever since our childhood
To think of it as a sin,
A crime, an immoral act!
Arousing our curiosity
To know, feel and
Experience it illegitimately
Defiantly trying to know the forbidden...

Fear

A fear engulfs my heart and soul
Making my future bothersome
Though I know I am secured
Yet the thought of betrayal,
Unfaithfulness, trickery, treachery
Inundate my thought process
Submerging half of my conscious self
Into arrays of fear...
Comfortable I am in my own seclusion
For the very thought of hurting myself
Is simply terrifying...
The apprehensions are too vivid
To let it go as it clings onto inseparably!
Yes! selfish I am..
For i don't want to break again
For this is a new start..
A new beginning
For which I paid a price
Yet horrible thoughts
Keep annoying
Threatening my security!

Fearful Thoughts!

As I lay on my bed
Thinking of you
Many a thoughts linger around
Some pleasant... some chiseled
And some tipsy...
Feelings seem to surpass everything
You are here with me
Lying down beside me
Yet you seem to be far
Far beyond my reach...
Each and every attempt
To break through those walls
Have always been a failure
A little bit of these and that
Was all I have as an excuse..
Yet I know and realized
Failure is what I got
Though I fear of none
Yet I fear of losing you
And with each passing day
I could sense you drifting away
The Loser that I am...
Every attempt to hold onto you
Seems to be of no use
Am I the passing wind?
Being a loser can be dreadful
And at times it bites
And stings like a Scorpion
Leaving behind the poison to spread
Killing me softly!
Oh the loser I am...
For despite knowing it
All I can do is just watch
As the time goes by...

The Nymphomaniac Hooker

Innocent was her look
Smart was her appearance
A word when she utters
Many a men feel weak by their knees
Jealous of her are many a women
For her ability to make
Every men hers!
Intelligent was she
For she knows well to play with words
Stirring the emotions of others
Making them crave for her even more
With her luscious physique
Coquettishly pursuing them
Weaving webs of lies
Fooling them with fabricated dreams,
Stripping off their modesty...
Wringing and draining them off
Playing all the way
Till she finds
A bigger and better catch!
Smiling coyly and batting her eyes
Many hearts she has won
For not only a hooker she is
But a true Nymphomaniac Hooker
She is...
Hard to satisfy...
Difficult to fulfill her wishes
Yet there is no looking back for her!
With no dearth of men
Ready to give their heart
Happy to be fooled
And trampled upon by her...

The Skirt-Chaser!

Treacherous are your ways
Despicable are your actions
But your well-versed tongue
Knocks off everyone!
None can defeat you
When it comes to wooing
The Sexiest Lady
Walking down the lane.
None can walk pass
That seductive look in your eyes
Without responding to it...
Your honeyed words
Are all it takes
To strike the chord right there!
And you know it all too well
Being cheesy and flirting
Is your favorite past-time
Ever wondered how many hearts
Have you hurt?
Burdened is your life with
The curses of all those women
A gigolo that you are
You care for none
With nothing to worry about
And none to look back to
You still held your head high
Proud as ever
To being called "A Skirt-Chaser".

Experience

Experience - a great teacher
Before whom
There is none greater
Even the Greatest
Kneel before
And have no say...
The mightiest
Are outsmarted
Nothing can
Par experience
Situation, conditions,
circumstances
In action, atifices
With a set strategy
Contriving to give
proper shape and structure
Weaving with care
Hemming it neatly
Ignorance, immaturity,
And chastity
Is sealed
Never to be
Discovered again.
Innocence,
Taken over by experience,
Find no room
To leave traces
Of its existence even...

Commitment Phobic!

"Commitment", a word I fear the most
The phobia may be irrational
But relentlessly, it haunts me
Just the mere thought of it
Makes me shiver to the spine
Playing its part in my heart and soul
I feel as if i am being strangulated
Suffocating me, making me hard to breathe
Mentally I am not prepared yet
To commit myself to anything
Too dear is my independence to give up
Obsessive I am of it
But here I am standing
Amidst a defining moment
Telling me its now or never...
Driving me into frenzy
Filling me with anxiety and stress
Oh the commitment Phobic me!

The Tumult!

The tumult strikes yet again
With no looking back
Helter-skelter they ran
Fearing the upheaval,
Many a life went astray
Because of the uproar
Chaos taking the better
Leaving everyone confused
Some called it a blessing
While others cursed themselves
Some playing the blame game!
Pitiful are the souls
Trying to wash off
The blood of their brothers
Worst are those trying
To cover up their crimes
Using their sisters and mothers;
Defensive they are
Of the things they do
Cowards they are
For lacking the courage
To stand up and fight!

Shriek!

A shriek I heard at the dead of the night
Startled I looked around!
Fierce was the shriek
But couldn't make out what it was
Though scary it was, yet curious was I
Could it be a lady in pain Or
Was it the screech of a car Or
Was it a cat or a dog?
Walking past the doorway
My knees felt weak out of fear
The terror almost freaked me out!

As I looked across the street,
An apparition I saw at a distance
Was it an illusion?
Stone frozen I was on seeing the vision...
The first thought that striked
Was to rush back my niche
But I stopped and approached the figure
As I drew closer,
She wore a tired look...
Faintly smiled at me but her eyes
Betrayed her smile!

As I started to talk to her
She came forward and hugged me
Taken aback I stood there
As if grounded!
She cried her heart out
But I felt as if stoned..
Then she turned back to leave
I halted her and asked who she was
She looked back, passed a faint smile
And turned away!
Her last glance was familiar..
I gasped... Ema!

Maithiraba punsini
Mamshuknaraba
Khangamdraba meichakni

English Translation of the Haiku

The Flare

Filled with repression is life
Perplex and obscure
Unbearable is the flare

The Midnight Cigarrette

Without you,
Oh! Midnight cigarette,
Waiting for the dawn to set in
Would have been such a pain
Waiting the hours tick by
Would have seemed like a lifetime
As I fag,
I see the smoke dancing in the air
Teasing me, poking me
At times, making fun of me..
Yet filled with fun and frolic
Amusing me throughout the night
As I watch,
The fume dwindle away
Another fag comes into play
To keep the spirit high
To carry on the amusement...
Filling me with mirth and glee!